How to do Dawah?

How to do Dawah?

Section I: Know the priorities in Dawah

1.   The First priority in Dawah is Tawheed

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Fussilat 41:33[1]

وَمَنْ أَحْسَنُ قَوْلاً مِّمَّن دَعَا إِلَى اللَّهِ وَعَمِلَ صَالِحاً وَقَالَ إِنَّنِي مِنَ الْمُسْلِمِيْنَ

“And who is better in speech than one who invites to Allah and does righteousness and says, "Indeed, I am of the Muslims.””

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Yusuf 12:108

قُلْ هَذِهِ سَبِيلِي أَدْعُو إِلَى اللّهِ عَلَى بَصِيرَةٍ

“Say, "This is my way; I invite to Allah with insight…”    

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Aal-e-Imran 3:64

 قُلْ يَا أَهْلَ الْكِتَابِ تَعَالَوْاْ إِلَى كَلَمَةٍ سَوَاء بَيْنَنَا وَبَيْنَكُمْ أَلاَّ نَعْبُدَ إِلاَّ اللّهَ    

 “Say, "O People of the Scripture, come to a word that is equitable between us and you - that we worship none but Allah…”        

a.The biggest sin, wrongdoing, evil is "Shirk" (Associating partners with Allah)

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Nisa 4:48

إِنَّ اللّهَ لاَ يَغْفِرُ أَن يُشْرَكَ بِهِ وَيَغْفِرُ مَا دُوْنَ ذَلِكَ لِمَن يَّشَاءُ وَمَنْ يُّشْرِكْ بِاللّهِ فَقَدِ افْتَرَى إِثْماً عَظِيْماً

"Indeed, Allah does not forgive association with Him, but He forgives what is less than that for whom He wills. And he who associates others with Allah has certainly fabricated a tremendous sin."    

b. Shouldn't we start where Allah has started.  Throughout the Qur'an Imaan is mentioned before "Amal-us Saleh" (righteous deeds)

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Baqarah 2:82,

وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ وَعَمِلُواْ الصَّالِحَاتِ أُولَئِكَ أَصْحَابُ الْجَنَّةِ هُمْ فِيهَا خَالِدُونَ

“But they who believe and do righteous deeds - those are the companions of Paradise; they will abide therein eternally.”

Also see Surah Al- Asr 103:1-3, also in Surah Tin 95:7

c. Even when Imaan is mentioned after Righteous Deeds it has been mentioned as a condition, giving it moreimportance again.

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Nahl 16:97

مَنْ عَمِلَ صَالِحًا مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَى وَهُوَ مُؤْمِنٌ فَلَنُحْيِيَنَّهُ حَيَاةً طَيِّبَةً وَلَنَجْزِيَنَّهُمْ أَجْرَهُم بِأَحْسَنِ مَا كَانُواْ يَعْمَلُونَ

“Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer - We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do.”

[Also see Surah Nisa 4:124]

d. This is as per the guidance of Muhammed صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ

Ibn Abbas رَضِي اَللهُ عَنْهُمَا narrated,    

لما بعث النبي صَلَّى الله ُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ مُعَاذَ بْنِ جَبَلٍ إِلَى نَحْوِ أَهْلِ الْيَمَنِ قَالَ لَهُ إِنَّكَ تَقْدُمُ عَلَى قَوْمٍ مِّنْ أَهْلِ الْكِتَابِ فَلْيَكُنْ أَوَّلَ مَا تَدْعُوْهُمْ إِلَى أِنْ يُوَحِّدُوْا اللهَ تَعَالى فَإِذَا عَرَفُوْا ذلِكَ فَأَخْبِرْهُمْ أَنَّ اللهَ فَرَضَ عَلَيْهِمْ خَمْسُ صَلَوَاتٍ فِي يَوْمِهمْ وَلَيْلَتِهِمْ فَإِذَا صَلُّوْا فَأَخْبِرْهُمْ أَنَّ اللهَ اِفْتَرَضَ عَلَيْهِمْ زَكَاةٍ فِي أَمْوَالِهِمْ تُؤْخَذُ مِنْ غَنِيِّهِمْ فَتُرَدُّ عَلَى فَقِيْرِهِمْ فَإِذَا أَقَرُّوْا بِذلِكَ فَخُذْ مِنْهُمْ وَتَوَقِّ كَرَائِمَ أَمْوَالِ النَّاسِ

"When the Prophet of Allah صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ   sent Mua’dh رضي الله عنه to the people of Yemen he said to him, "You are going to a nation from the people of the Scripture, so let the first thing to which you will invite them, be the Tauheed(oneness) of Allah.  If they learn that, tell them that Allah has enjoined on them, five prayers to be offered in one day and one night.  And if they pray, tell them that Allah has enjoined on them Zakat of their properties and it is to be taken from the rich among them and given to the poor. And if they agree to that, then take from them Zakat but avoid the best property of the people."

[NARRATED BY IBN ABBAS رَضِي اَللهُ عَنْهُمَا RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI[2] (THE BOOK OF ONENESS, UNIQUENESS OF ALLAH (TAWHEED)) 9:469, ALSO IN SAHEEH MUSLIM[3]: 28]

The Prophet of Allah صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ   commanded Mua’dh رضي الله عنه to begin his Dawah process with the call towards Tauheed i.e. the oneness of Allah. This was also the primary Dawah of all Prophets as mentioned throughout the Qur’an.       
The primary stage of Dawah includes Tawheed, Risalah (Prophethood of Muhammed صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ   , Akhirah (life after death), Wahee (revelation, specially about the Qur’an), Angels and Destiny (Allah knows all in advance).

2.   Make things easy, do not make them difficult

Abu Hurairah رضي الله عنه narrated,

عَنِ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى الله ُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ قَالَ إِنَّ الدِّيْنَ يُسْرٌ ..

"The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said, "Religion is very easy…"

[NARRATED ABU HURAIRAH رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI (THE BOOK OF BELIEF) 1:38]

Abu Burda رضي الله عنه narrated,

بَعَثَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى الله ُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ أَبِي وَمُعَاذِ بْنِ جَبَلٍ إِلَى 
الْيَمَنِ فَقَالَ  يَسِّرَا وَلَا تُعَسِّرَا وَبَشِّرَا وَلَا تُنَفِّرَا وَتَطَاوَعَا

”The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ sent my father and Mu'adh bin Jabal رضي الله عنه to Yemen and said (to them), "Make things easy for the people and do not put hurdles in their way, and give them glad tiding, and don't let them have aversion (i.e. to make people to hate good deeds) and you both should work in cooperation and mutual understanding."

[NARRATED ABU BURDA رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI (THE BOOK OF JUDGMENTS (AHKAAM)) 9: 284]

               

3.   Invite them to Islam.

There is a difference in plainly tell them about Islam and inviting them to Islam. A clear "invitation" to Islam needs to be given. Human nature is such that we need someone to "Invite" us before we do something. For example - If your neighbour was to tell you that he is cooking very tasty food today. You will not go to his home unless he clearly invites you there.

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah An Nahl 16:125

اُدْعُ إِلَى سَبِيْلِ رَبِّكَ بِالْحِكْمَةِ وَالْمَوْعِظَةِ الْحَسَنَةِ وَجَادِلْهُم بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَنْ ضَلَّ عَنْ سَبِيْلِهِ وَهُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِالْمُهْتَدِيْنَ

“Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is [rightly] guided”
For the mention of "Invite" also see 3:104, 28:87, 12:108, 23:73, 7:193, 13:36, 22:67, 40:42, 42:15

4.   Use a suitable approach

Some people have a dominance of their intellect while other people have a dominance of their heart in their thinking.  In the Qur'an we find both approaches

An example of the intellectual approach

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al Ambiya 21:22

لَوْ كَانَ فِيْهِمَا آلِهَةٌ إِلَّا اللَّهُ لَفَسَدَتَا فَسُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَرْشِ عَمَّا يَصِفُوْنَ

“Had there been within the heavens and earth gods besides Allah, they both would have been ruined. So exalted is Allah, Lord of the Throne, above what they describe.”
An example of the emotional approach

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al Infitar 82:6

يَا أَيُّهَا الْإِنسَانُ مَا غَرَّكَ بِرَبِّكَ الْكَرِيْمِ

"O mankind, what has deceived you concerning your Lord, the Generous...”
Do not use the same approach with everybody. Rather use a suitable approach.

5.   Feel care and concern for the person being invited

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah At –Tawba 9:128

 لَقَدْ جَاءَكُمْ رَسُوْلٌ مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ عَزِيْزٌ عَلَيْهِ مَا عَنِتُّمْ حَرِيْصٌ عَلَيْكُمْ بِالْمُؤْمِنِيْنَ رَؤُوْفٌ رَّحِيْمٌ

"There has certainly come to you a Messenger from among yourselves. Grievous to him is what you suffer; [he is] concerned over you and to the believers is kind and merciful.”
- The intention should never be to defeat or win. The intention should be to save the person from the fire and be his sincere well wisher.

6.    Speak straight, don't beat round the bush 

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al- Ahzab 33:70-71

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِيْنَ آمَنُوْا اتَّقُوْا اللَّهَ وَقُوْلُوْا قَوْلاً سَدِيْداً
يُصْلِحْ لَكُمْ أَعْمَالَكُمْ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوْبَكُمْ وَمَنْ يُّطِعْ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ فَازَ فَوْزاً عَظِيْماً

“O you who have believed, fear Allāh and speak the straight thing.   He will [then] amend for you your deeds and forgive you your sins. And whoever obeys Allāh and His Messenger has certainly attained a great attainment." -What is wrong.. call it wrong.

7.    Speak only authentic, proven things

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Yusuf 12:108

قُلْ هَـذِهِ سَبِيْلِي أَدْعُوْ إِلَى اللّهِ عَلَى بَصِيْرَةٍ أَنَاْ وَمَنِ اتَّبَعَنِي وَسُبْحَانَ اللّهِ وَمَا أَنَاْ مِنَ الْمُشْرِكِيْنَ

"Say, "This is my way; I invite to Allāh with evidence, I and those who follow me. And exalted is Allāh; and I am not of those who associate others with Him."”  

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al-Isra 17:36

وَلاَ تَقْفُ مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِ عِلْمٌ إِنَّ السَّمْعَ وَالْبَصَرَ وَالْفُؤَادَ كُلُّ أُولـئِكَ كَانَ عَنْهُ مَسْؤُوْلاً

“And do not pursue that of which you have no knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart - about all those [one] will be questioned.”
One of the biggest problems today is Daees speaking without knowledge.

Prophet Muhammed صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said,

بَلِّغُوْا عَنِّي وَلَوْ آيَةً.. وَمَنْ كَذَبَ عَلَيَّ مُتَعَمِّداً فَلْيَتَبَوَّأ مَقْعَدَهُ مِنَ النَّارِ

"Pass it on from me even if it be one verse... And whoever tells a lie on me intentionally, will surely take his place in (Hell) Fire."

[NARRATED BY ABDULLAH BIN AMR رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI (VIRTUES AND MERITS OF THE PROPHET (PBUH) AND HIS COMPANIONS) 4:667]

Pass it on “from me” i.e. Muhammed صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ. He صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ gave us the Qur’an and the authentic Hadith. We need to pass from these authentic sources. And the last part of the Hadith gives a very severe warning. Whoever lies in the name of Muhammed صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ  will surely take his place in Hell fire. 
Hence if you don’t know a particular thing then say these words, “I don’t know”. These are words, which we should not have the least hesitation to say. We are responsible for passing on only what we know. What we don’t know we should not speak out of ignorance. “Deen” is from its authentic sources, it is not what “we think” or “we speculate”. Our purpose in Da’wah should be to seek the pleasure of Allah alone. The intention should not be to gain the praise of people or any worldly benefit. In that case it becomes difficult for a person to say, “I don’t know” since he is more concerned about what people will think of him. Don’t play with the fire of Hell by letting your desires enter into your Da’wah.
We should rather refer the matter to scholars and people of knowledge. Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah An Nahl 16:43 and in Surah Al Ambiyah 21:7

               فاسْأَلُوْا أَهْلَ الذِّكْرِ إِن كُنتُمْ لاَ تَعْلَمُوْنَ

“So ask the people of the message, if you do not know”

8.   Give good news

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Maryam 19:97

فَإِنَّمَا يَسَّرْنَاهُ بِلِسَانِكَ لِتُبَشِّرَ بِهِ الْمُتَّقِيْنَ وَتُنذِرَ بِهِ قَوْماً لُّدّاً

“So, [O, Muhammad صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ], We have only made Qur'an easy in the Arabic language that you may give good tidings thereby to the righteous and warn thereby a hostile people.” 

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al-Furqan 25:56

وَمَا أَرْسَلْنَاكَ إِلَّا مُبَشِّراً وَّنَذِيْراً

“And We have not sent you, [O Muhْammad], except as a bringer of good tidings and a warner.”
-This is human nature. For example if a tired person is told that there is a confirmed treasure of gold outside his which he should take before anyone else does. He will surely forget his sickness and work hard for it.

9.   Warn

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al Ana’am 6:19

وَأُوحِيَ إِلَيَّ هَذَا الْقُرْآنُ لأُنذِرَكُمْ بِهِ وَمَنْ بَلَغَ 

“…And this Qur'an was revealed to me that I may warn you thereby and whomever it reaches.”
-Even this is human nature. Human beings need warnings to make them act. For example, if a tired person who is unable to move is told that there is a poisonous snake in the same room. He will surely forget his tiredness and run out of the room.

10.         Do not unnecessarily raise objections to answer them yourself

Contrary to what most people expect a majority of people are very simple minded and do not have objections against Islam. In fact they are in their normal lives least bit interested in these allegations against Islam.  Some Daees during their Dawah raise objections unnecessarily and then answer them themselves. However, this becomes a diversion from our main Dawah which is Tawheed, Prophethood, Akhirah, Revelation, Purpose of life and so on. It is also possible that the Daee may end up not being able to answer the objection satisfactorily! However, if there is sufficient reason to believe that the person has that question in his mind but is not asking it, then the case would be different.  

11.         Convincing a person about a couple of secondary aspects of Islam is not complete Dawah.

Even if a person gets convinced about Non-vegetarian food, Hijab or polygamy, we have not yet completed our Dawah. There are many Non-Muslims who agree with these concepts but yet continue to be Non-Muslims! Our Dawah will not be complete until we do not satisfactorily explain the fundamental aspects of Iman (mentioned in 1 above) and until we invite them to Islam.

12.         Use the best opportunites and create opportunities too. 

Ibn Abbas رَضِي اَللهُ عَنْهُمَا narrated,    

 لَمَّا نَزَلَتْ { وَأََََنْذِرْ عَشِيْرَتَكَ الْأقْرَبِيْنَ } . وَرَهْطُكَ مِنْهُمُ الْمُخْلِصِيْنَ خَرَجَ رَسُوْلُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ  حَتّى صَعِدَ الصَّفَا فَهَتَفَ ( يَا صَبَاحَاه ) . فَقَالُوْا مَنْ هذَا فَاجْتَمَعُوْا إِلَيْهِ فَقَالَ ( أَرَأَيْتُمْ إِنْ أَخْبَرْتُكُمْ أَنَّ خَيْلاً تَخْرُجُ مِنْ سَفْحِ هذَا الْجَبَلِ أَكُنْتُمْ مُصَدِّقِيَّ ) . قَالُوْا مَا جَرَّبْنَا عَلَيْكَ كِذْباً قَالَ ( فَإِنِّي نَذِيْرٌ لَّكُمْ بَيْنَ يَدَي عَذَابٌ شَدِيْدٌ )

“When the Verse: -- 'And warn your tribe of near kindred.' (26:214) was revealed. Allah’s Messenger صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ went out, and when he had ascended As-Safa mountain, he shouted, "O Sabahah!" The people said, "Who is that?" "Then they gathered around him, whereupon he said, "Do you see? If I inform you that cavalrymen are proceeding up the side of this mountain, will you believe me?" They said, "We have never heard you telling a lie." Then he said, "I am a plain warner to you of a coming severe punishment."  

[NARRATED BY IBN ABBAS رَضِي اَللهُ عَنْهُمَا RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI (THE BOOK OF PROPHETIC COMMENTARY ON THE QUR'AN (TAFSEER OF THE PROPHET (PBUH)) 6: 495]

Ikramah رضي الله عنه narrated from Ibn Abbas رَضِي اَللهُ عَنْهُمَا,   

 حَدِّثِ النَّاسَ كُلَّ جُمْعَةٍ مَرَّةً فَإِنْ أَبَيْتَ فَمَرَّتَيْنِ فَإِنْ أَكْثَرْتَ فَثَلَاثَ مِرَارٍ
 وَلَا تَمُلَّ النَّاسَ هَذَا الْقُرْآنَ وَلَا أُلْفِيَنَّكَ تَأْتِي الْقَوْمَ وَهُمْ فِي حَدِيْثِ مِنْ حَدِيْثِهِمْ فَتَقُصَّ عَلَيْهِمْ فَتَقْطَعَ عَلَيْهِمْ حَدِيْثَهُمْ فَتَمُلَّهُمْ وَلكِنْ أَنْصِتْ فَإِذَا أَمَرُوْكَ فَحَدِّثْهُمْ وَهُمْ يَشْتَهُوْنَهُ

“Preach to the people once a week, and if you won't, then preach them twice, but if you want to preach more, then let it be three times (a week only), and do not make the people fed-up with this Qur'an. If you come to some people who are engaged in a talk, don't start interrupting their talk by preaching, lest you should cause them to be bored. You should rather keep quiet, and if they ask you, then preach to them at the time when they are eager to hear what you say…”

[NARRATED BY IKRAMAH رَضِي اَللهُ عَنْهُ RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI (THE BOOK OF INVOCATIONS) 8: 349]

Ibn Mas’ud رضي الله عنه narrated,    

كَانَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ  يَتَخَوَّلُنَا بِالْمَوْعِظَةِ فِي الْأَيَّامِ كَرَاهَةَ السَّآَمَةِ عَلَيْنَا

"The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ used to take care of us in preaching by selecting a suitable time, so that we might not get bored.” [NARRATED BY IBN MAS’UD رَضِي اَللهُ عَنْهُ RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI (THE BOOK OF KNOWLEDGE) 1: 68]

13.         A person is most receptive when he listens individually or in twos

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah As Saba 34:46

قُلْ إِنَّمَا أَعِظُكُمْ بِوَاحِدَةٍ أَنْ تَقُومُوا لِلَّهِ مَثْنَى وَفُرَادَى ثُمَّ تَتَفَكَّرُوا

Say, "I only advise you of one [thing] - that you stand for Allah , [seeking truth] in pairs and individually, and then give thought."

14.         If you don't know the answers then ask for time.

-The example is that of Prophet Muhammad صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ   when the people asked him the 3 questions about the Ruh, Zul-karnain, As-haabul Kahf as mentioned in Surah Kahf (Surah 18)[TAFSEER IBN KATHEER VOL 6, PAGE 112, UNDER THE SECTION, “WHY THIS SURAH WAS REVEALED”[4]]
- Never argue without knowledge and evidence

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al-e- Imran 3: 66

هَاأَنتُمْ هَؤُلَاءِ حَاجَجْتُمْ فِيْمَا لَكُمْ بِهِ عِلمٌ
 فَلِمَ تُحَآجُّوْنَ فِيْمَا لَيْسَ لَكُمْ بِهِ عِلْمٌ وَاللّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لاَ تَعْلَمُوْنَ

“Here you are - those who have argued about that of which you have [some] knowledge, but why do you argue about that of which you have no knowledge? And Allah knows, while you know not."
- It is part of knowledge to say that "I don't know". At-least you know that you don't know!
- This is not "zillah" (insulting), rather this is the shariah!

15.          Have patience

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al-Aheqaaf  46: 35

فَاصْبِرْ كَمَا صَبَرَ أُوْلُوا الْعَزْمِ مِنَ الرُّسُلِ وَلا تَسْتَعْجِل لَّهُمْ

“So be patient, [O Muhammad], as were those of determination among the messengers and do not be impatient for them.”

- There should be no haste for results
-While talking to an argue some or insulting person, don't react to everything that is said.

-Some people try to provoke..

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al-e- Imran 3: 186

لَتُبْلَوُنَّ فِي أَمْوَالِكُمْ وَأَنفُسِكُمْ وَلَتَسْمَعُنَّ مِنَ الَّذِيْنَ أُوتُوْا الْكِتَابَ مِنْ قَبْلِكُمْ وَمِنَ الَّذِيْنَ أَشْرَكُوْا أَذًى كَثِيْراً وَإِن تَصْبِرُوْا وَتَتَّقُوْا فَإِنَّ ذَلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ الأُمُوْرِ 

“You will surely be tested in your possessions and in yourselves. And you will surely hear from those who were given the Scripture before you and from those who associate others with Allah much abuse. But if you are patient and fear Allah - indeed, that is of the matters [worthy] of determination.”
-Don't react as he wants.. react as Allah wants.

16.         Law of Averages

- People may accept or may not accept. If they accept there should be no arrogance. If they don't accept there should be no depression.
- Consider the large number of people who live on the earth. Surely there are many people who desire guidance.

The law of averages is that there is a certain average that a Daee will find for himself (e.g. one in 10 etc). The Daee should not loose heart but go on until he finds that person who is sincere and open to listening to the truth and accepting it.

17.         Argue in the best way: Repel evil with good

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah An Nahl 16:125

ادْعُ إِلِى سَبِيْلِ رَبِّكَ بِالْحِكْمَةِ وَالْمَوْعِظَةِ الْحَسَنَةِ وَجَادِلْهُم بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَن ضَلَّ عَن سَبِيْلِهِ وَهُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِالْمُهْتَدِيْنَ

“Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is [rightly] guided.”
-Don't forget that argue is at number 3 in the above mentioned verse.
-Even when they are bad we should continue to be good.

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Fussilat 41:34-35

وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيْمٌ
وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا الَّذِيْنَ صَبَرُوْا وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا ذُوْحَظٍّ عَظِيْمٍ

“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend. But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion [of good].”

18.         Speak with gentle-speech and avoid harshness and shameless words

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Ta-Ha 20: 43-44

اذْهَبَا إِلَى فِرْعَوْنَ إِنَّهُ طَغَى

فَقُولا لَهُ قَوْلًا لَّيِّنًا لَّعَلَّهُ يَتَذَكَّرُ أَوْ يَخْشَى

“Go, both of you, to Pharaoh. Indeed, he has transgressed. And speak to him with gentle speech that perhaps he may be reminded or fear [Allah]."

- Manners should be soft.
- Words should be refined. Bad language should be avoided.

When Musa and Haroon (Peace be on them) were advised by Allah to speak gently with the Firaun then surely we need to be gentle in speech with all disbelievers today who are of a lesser level than the Firaun.

19.         Ignore and overlook foolish talk

-Let us see the example of Musa (my peace be upon him)

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Ash-Shuara 26:23-30

قَالَ فِرْعَوْنُ وَمَا رَبُّ الْعَالَمِيْنَ

“Said Pharaoh, "And what is the Lord of the worlds?"”

قَالَ رَبُّ السَّمَاوَاتِ وَالْأَرْضِ وَمَا بَيْنَهُمَا إن كُنْتُمْ مُّوْقِنِيْنَ

“[Moses] said, "The Lord of the heavens and earth and that between them, if you should be convinced."”

قَالَ لِمَنْ حَوْلَهُ أَلَا تَسْتَمِعُوْنَ

“[Pharaoh] said to those around him, "Do you not hear?"”

قَالَ رَبُّكُمْ وَرَبُّ آبَائِكُمُ الْأَوَّلِيْنَ

 “[Moses] said, "Your Lord and the Lord of your first forefathers."”

قَالَ إِنَّ رَسُوْلَكُمُ الَّذِي أُرْسِلَ إِلَيْكُمْ لَمَجْنُوْنٌ

“[Pharaoh] said, "Indeed, your 'messenger' who has been sent to you is mad."”

قَالَ رَبُّ الْمَشْرِقِ وَالْمَغْرِبِ وَمَا بَيْنَهُمَا إِنْ كُنْتُمْ تَعْقِلُوْنَ

“[Moses] said, "Lord of the east and the west and that between them, if you were to reason."”

قَالَ لَئِنِ اتَّخَذْتَ إِلَهاً غَيْرِي لَأَجْعَلَنَّكَ مِنَ الْمَسْجُوْنِيْنَ 

 “[Pharaoh] said, "If you take a god other than me, I will surely place you among those imprisoned."”

قَالَ أَوَلَوْ جِئْتُكَ بِشَيْءٍ مُبِينٍ

 “[Moses] said, "Even if I brought you proof manifest?"”

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al-Araaf 7:199

خُذِ الْعَفْوَ وَأْمُرْ بِالْعُرْفِ وَأَعْرِضْ عَنِ الْجَاهِلِيْنَ

“Take what is given freely, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant.”

See, how Musa (Peace be on him) is not reacting to what the Firaun is saying and is consistently ignoring arrogant, foolish remarks.

20.          Be a good listener too

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah At-Tawba 9:61

وَمِنْهُمُ الَّذِيْنَ يُؤْذُوْنَ النَّبِيَّ وَيَقُوْلُوْنَ هُوَ أُذُنٌ قُلْ أُذُنُ خَيْرٍ لَّكُمْ يُؤْمِنُ بِاللّهِ وَيُؤْمِنُ لِلْمُؤْمِنِيْنَ وَرَحْمَةٌ لِّلَّذِيْنَ آمَنُواْ مِنْكُمْ وَالَّذِيْنَ يُؤْذُوْنَ رَسُوْلَ اللّهِ لَهُمْ عَذَابٌ أَلِيْمٌ

“And among them are those who abuse the Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ and say, "He is (all) ear." Say, "[It is] an ear of goodness for you that believes in Allah and believes the believers and [is] a mercy to those who believe among you." And those who abuse the Messenger of Allah صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ - for them is a painful punishment.”
- If we want to speak, we have to learn to listen too.
-Some people don't want to listen. But are only interested in speaking. We fear for them:

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al-Mulk 67:10

وَقَالُوْا لَوْ كُنَّا نَسْمَعُ أَوْ نَعْقِلُ مَا كُنَّا فِي أَصْحَابِ السَّعِيْرِ

“And they will say, "If only we had been listening or reasoning, we would not be among the companions of the Blaze."
-Also observe,
-From the expressions on the face and in the eyes of the person you can estimate what effect your talk is having on him and appropriately change the matter.

21.         Start with that which is mutually agreed

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Ale Imran 3:64

قُلْ يَا أَهْلَ الْكِتَابِ تَعَالَوْاْ إِلَى كَلَمَةٍ سَوَاء بَيْنَنَا وَبَيْنَكُمْ

أَلاَّ نَعْبُدَ إِلاَّ اللّهَ وَلاَ نُشْرِكَ بِهِ شَيْئًا

وَلاَ يَتَّخِذَ بَعْضُنَا بَعْضاً أَرْبَابًا مِّن دُونِ اللّهِ

فَإِن تَوَلَّوْاْ فَقُولُواْ اشْهَدُواْ بِأَنَّا مُسْلِمُونَ

“Say, "O People of the Scripture, come to a word that is equitable between us and you - that we will not worship except Allah and not associate anything with Him and not take one another as lords instead of Allah ." But if they turn away, then say, "Bear witness that we are Muslims [submitting to Him]."”

22.         Do not abuse their deities

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al-An’aam 6: 108

وَلاَ تَسُبُّواْ الَّذِيْنَ يَدْعُوْنَ مِن دُوْنِ اللّهِ فَيَسُبُّواْ اللّهَ عَدْواً بِغَيْرِ عِلْمٍ كَذَلِكَ زَيَّنَّا لِكُلِّ أُمَّةٍ عَمَلَهُمْ ثُمَّ إِلَى رَبِّهِمْ مَّرْجِعُهُمْ فَيُنَبِّئُهُم بِمَا كَانُواْ يَعْمَلُوْنَ

“And do not insult those they invoke other than Allah, lest they insult Allah in enmity without knowledge. Thus We have made pleasing to every community their deeds. Then to their Lord is their return, and He will inform them about what they used to do.”       

23.          Avoid putting the person in the "argue" mode

The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said:

مَا ضَلَّ قَوْمٌ بَعْدَ هُدًى كَانُوْا عَلَيْهِ إِلَّا أُوْتُوا الْجَدَلَ

"People did not go astray from guidance on which they were except due to arguing"

[NARRATED BY رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN TIRMIDHI. HAAKIM, AUTHENTICATED BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 5633]          

Prophet Muhammed  صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ   said,

إِنَّ أَبْغَضَ الرِّجَالِ إِلَى اللهِ الْأَلَدُّ الْخَصِمُ

"The most hated person in the sight of Allah is the most quarrelsome person."

[NARRATED BY AISHA رضي الله عنها; RECORDED IN SAHEEH BUKHARI (THE BOOK OF OPPRESSIONS 3:637]

24.          Be humble: Don't be proud

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah An-Nisa 4:36

إِنَّ اللّهَ لاَ يُحِبُّ مَنْ كَانَ مُخْتَالاً فَخُوْراً

“Indeed, Allah does not like those who are self-deluding and boastful.”

The Prophet صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said,

لاَ يَدْخُلُ الْجَنَّةَ مَنْ كَانَ فِي قَلْبِهِ مِثْقَالُ ذَرَّةٍ مِنْ كِبْرٍ ‏

“He who has in his heart the weight of a mustard seed of pride shall not enter Paradise.”

[NARRATED BY ABDULLAH BIN MAS’UD رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM (THE BOOK OF FAITH (KITAB AL-IMAN)): 164]

The Prophet صَلىَّ اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said:

إِنَّ اللهَ أَوْحَى إِلَيَّ أَنْ تَوَاضَعْوْا
حَتَّى لَا يَفْخَرْ أَحَدٌ عَلَى أَحَدٍ وَ لَا يَبْغِي أَحَدٌ عَلَى أَحَدٍ

“…Allah revealed to me that we should be humble amongst ourselves and no one boasts over others and one should not oppress others.”

[NARRATED BY IYAD رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM: 6856, ALSO IN ABU DAWUD: 4877, IBN MAJAH, AUTHENTICATED (HASAN) BY ALBANI IN SAHEEH AL JAAMI 1725]

The Prophet صَلىَّ اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said:

وَمَا تَوَاضَعَ أَحَدٌ لِلَّهِ إِلَّا رَفَعَهُ اللَّهُ

“The one who shows humility for Allah, then Allah elevates him in the estimation (of the people).”

[NARRATED BY ABU HURAIRAH رضي الله عنه; RECORDED IN SAHEEH MUSLIM: 6264]

25.          Remember that guidance is in the Hands of Allah alone

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Al-Qasas 28:56

إِنَّكَ لَا تَهْدِي مَنْ أَحْبَبْتَ وَلَكِنَّ اللَّهَ يَهْدِي مَنْ يَّشَاءُ وَهُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِالْمُهْتَدِيْنَ 

“Indeed, [O Muْhammad صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ ], you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He wills. And He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided.”
- Remember that Allah is much much more merciful than us. If the person is worthy in the sight of Allah of receiving guidance then Allah will surely guide.- Forgetting this important principle makes a person:

a. Impatient

b. Display bad Akhlaq (character)

26.         Do Duaa for Allah's help and the person’s guidance

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Taha 20: 25-28

قَالَ رَبِّ اشْرَحْ لِي صَدْرِي وَيَسِّرْ لِي أَمْرِي وَاحْلُلْ عُقْدَةً مِّنْ لِّسَانِي يَفْقَهُوْا قَوْلِي

 “[Moses] said, "My Lord, expand for me my breast [with assurance]. And ease for me my task. And untie the knot from my tongue. That they may understand my speech."”

27.         Prepare thoroughly before the discussion, do not consider the person with whom you are discussing insignificant

Allah says in the Qur’an in Surah Nisaa 4: 71

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ خُذُواْ حِذْرَكُمْ

“O you who have believed, take your precaution”

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[1] The Qur’an translation quoted is from the English translation by Saheeh International, available in print by Al-Qaasim Publishing House, also available on the internet atwww.islamsmessage.com

[2] All References from Saheeh Bukhari are from the English translation by Muhammed Mohsin Khan (9 volumes) printed by Kitaab Bhavan also available on the internet atwww.islamsmessage.com

[3] All References from Saheeh Muslim are from the English translation by Abdul Hamid Siddiqi (4 volumes with continuous numbering) printed by Kitaab Bhavan also available on the internet at www.islamsmessage.com

[4] Tafseer Ibn Katheer, Printed by Darrusalaam (10 volumes)